Anatomy of a Bastard

March 6, 2008

Statistically speaking, everyone on earth is wrong about God, government and art. This means that, statistically speaking, everyone is a moron. Luckily, I’m not a moron — I’m just a bastard. There is a profound difference. What is the difference you might ask? Simple: A bastard is a sexy genius who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Which actually makes us /sexier/. This means that a “bastard” is not a bad guy — he’s the good guy.

Another thing bastards like to do is drink lots of booze. They don’t drink the filtered-pea that some people call “Bud” or “Miller” or any other kind of shit. They drink Guinness.

Oh, and we don’t believe in the invisible man in the sky, who got nailed to a Christmas tree on easter. Or whatever the fuck it is that you muslims believe.

Oh, and and we believe that everyone running for president is an asshole. Barack is a moron, Hillary is a Jesus-fucking socialist, and John McCain got tortured until he agreed to donate half his brain to the starving commie kids. Politics are screwed up, and if you don’t believe it, you’re a moron.

Oh. Babe of the post:

I’m a bastard.

February 27, 2008

My name’s Stephen Thomas, and this is my new place to take pot shots at reality while hiding comfortably behind a digital mask. I hate pretty much everyone on earth, though I like humanity. Someone once said that you can’t like mankind without hating most of the bastards who claim the name. Couldn’t have said it better.

I don’t believe in God, and if you do, I think you’re a moron. I don’t see any reason in hell why one could possibly believe that an invisible man in the sky is controlling all of reality. Seriously, that’s just lame.

I’m a libertarian. I don’t trust random people, and I goddamn sure as hell don’t trust random people with badges. The state fucks stuff over, and that’s what they get hired to do. George Washington once said something like “government sucks”, so the founding fathers agree with me. Checkmate.

In the elections, I hate pretty much everyone, but I hate Obama and Hilary the most. They’re pure evil. They hate the free market. Bush sucked economically because he supported maxed-out government. They want more. So I’m voting GOP. And Ron Paul has no fucking chance.

Oh, and I’m also straight. What with all of the gay people these days, I figured that was remarkable enough to write about. Because of this, every one of my posts is going to have a babe picture. Yeah, I’m a pig.

megan fox